Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Wedding Blues!!

I had tears in my eyes the other night thinking of everything that had and what would happen to me. I am happy and excited that Kusyairy and I are taking another step in our relationship. It’s like a dream come true… It is just like another love story… Sitting in the room all by myself makes me wonder of all the things that had happen to me in the past. It has made me a better person. I have met a lot of people… (Men to be exact) and I still want to be with Kusyairy. Not that I hate all of them or have anything against them but Kusyairy is the one for me… (For now and hopefully for many years to come…)

Kusyairy has always be there for me… He has been there when I was going through the worst part of my life… The part where I lost my twin sister… He has never once complaint when I have my tantrums… All he did was just stood by me. Giving me all the support I need. Something I would always be grateful for… (To the guy who likes ‘GREEN’ – you should know who you are! You once told me that Kusyairy is lucky to have me but it was the other way… I am lucky to have Kusyairy. He completes me!!! To ‘GREEN’, I am always here for you if you ever need a shoulder to cry on…You will always have a place in my heart but Kusyairy won the whole of my heart and ME!! (“,))

I am getting married in 4 days?? Hell yeah!! I was in my room one night, thinking of what I want in life after my marriage to Kusyairy. The list could go on… The main thing is that I would want to the best wife Kusyairy. I wish I could be the “PERFECT” one but I know that it is impossible since no one is perfect and I have to except the fact that there are flaws in myself. As much as I am worried about what the future has install for me, I am still going to marry this guy since I cannot imagine life without him. I just have to follow my heart. The love of my life… mom will always say that….

If only Nisha was still around, she will be advising me… She will tell me all the things that I would like to hear. I guess, life for now has no Nisha and it is so hard for me to bear… As much as they say life must go on… it is not the same without my sister, Nisha. What is life without Nisha… Even though it has been a 2 years, I still can’t except that she is no longer here… There are times when I just cry hoping to hear and feel Nisha… I was hoping for the miracle… Hoping to hear tell me… It’s ok and that she will always be here for me… Getting a hug from her will be the ultimate gift… (I miss you very much Yinkle !! I wish you were here with me… Physically be with me!!)

Since the wedding is just around the corner… My parents are busy with all the arrangement and preparations. I don't need to worry much just that I have to make sure all my personal stuff will be done before the wedding day… I haven’t gone to the spa as planned since I would only be on leave a day before the berinai… So, I guess there is not much time left… I would be going for my pedicure and manicure with Kusyairy… I am bringing him along whether he likes it or not… and also for a massage. Full body massage!!

We will not be seeing each other after the massage!! It would be our last outing as fiance!! (Macam lama sangat... padahal sehari jer!! Heheheh...)

All my dresses for the ceremony is ready except for the one in Kusyairy’s house… Which will only be ready on Thursday… Heheh… Mom told me not to worry about it since she told my brother to go and take it… (Bleh ke harapkan Abang Om??? Just have to trust him this time…I just have too..)


-@ pinkbyarcht @-

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